Bill Gates and Marc Andreessen in Heaven

Bill Gates and Marc Andreessen die and go to heaven. God meets them and announces that they will get stabbed with a needle for each major bug in their browser software.

First it's Marc's Turn: "In Navigator 1.0 there was a big security hole" DOUCHE! "In Navigator 1.1 you couldn't empty the cache" DOUCHE! Marc rubs his butt and looks around: "Where did Bill go?" God says in reply: "He's just being clamped into the sewing machine..."

3 Engineers in a Car

There were three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer.

Suddenly, the car stops running and they pull off to the side of the road wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault may have occurred.

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

The Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, came up with a suggestion. "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, and open all the windows and see if it works?"

How Programmers Kill a Cockroach

Q: How many programmers does it take to kill a cockroach?

A: Two: one holds, the other installs Windows on it

Funky, Dirty, Native HTML5

Video by Garrett Smith

What Happens when you Play a Windows CD

It's been said that if you play a windows CD backwards, you'll hear satanic chanting...worse still if you play it forwards, it installs windows.

One day Bill Gates died and met god

One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"
"Yeah!,"replies Gates.
So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts.
"So you like it?"he asks him.
"Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.
So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts.
"So bill have you made your choice?"
"Yes, God. i want to go to hell,"
"OK then."
And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell. But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever.
"Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates.
"In hell,"replies god.
"But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates.
"Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."

3 people had carpool

3 people had carpool: a mechanical engineer, a electrical engineer and a Microsoft programmer. But the car suddenly broke down. 
Mechanical engineer said: "Hey! It has to be the fuel injection. Lemme fix it." 
The electrical engineer didn't agree: "It's magneto probably. I'll fix it." 
Microsoft programmer shoke his head and said: "Hey guys, I have a simpler idea: Let's just close all the windows, get out of the car, then get back into it, and it should run!"