Pages

Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts

A computer scientist walks into a bar

A computer scientist walks into a bar, holds up his pointer finger and says, "Two drinks, please."
The bartender’s confused, but gets the computer scientist his drinks, and carries on.
The computer scientist finishes his drinks, holds up his pointer finger again and says, "Two more drinks!"
So the bartender comes over and asks the computer scientist, "You know, you keep asking for two drinks, but you only hold up one finger. What's the deal?"
The computer scientist says, "What do you mean? I asked for two, I showed you two."
The bartender says, "No, you only showed me one. Now, show me again, how many drinks do you want?"
The computer scientist holds up his pointer finger.
The bartender pours him one drink.
As the bartender starts to walk away, the computer scientist asks, "What about my other drink?"
To which the bartender raises his middle finger.
The computer scientist then asks, "Four what?"

Source: Just wrote this joke

Bill Gates and Marc Andreessen in Heaven

Bill Gates and Marc Andreessen die and go to heaven. God meets them and announces that they will get stabbed with a needle for each major bug in their browser software.

First it's Marc's Turn: "In Navigator 1.0 there was a big security hole" DOUCHE! "In Navigator 1.1 you couldn't empty the cache" DOUCHE! Marc rubs his butt and looks around: "Where did Bill go?" God says in reply: "He's just being clamped into the sewing machine..."

Bill Gates and Divine Brown Spent a Night Together

After spending a night with Divine Brown, Bill Gates turns to her in the bed and says "I understand now why they call you Divine Brown. She turns back to him and says "And I now understand why you called your company Micro - Soft"

Two Types of People in the World

There are two types of people in the world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

One day Bill Gates died and met god

One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"
"Yeah!,"replies Gates.
So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts.
"So you like it?"he asks him.
"Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.
So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts.
"So bill have you made your choice?"
"Yes, God. i want to go to hell,"
"OK then."
And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell. But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever.
"Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates.
"In hell,"replies god.
"But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates.
"Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."