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Desperate Virgin

A young woman is complaining to her friend "I've been married three times and I've never had sex!"

Her friend replies, "How is that possible?"

"Well," the woman says, "the first time I married for money, but he was old and he died on our wedding day.

"The second time I married for love, but he turned out to be gay."

"So what's wrong with this one?" the friend asks.

"Well, this one's a computer programmer. We've been married for five months, but so far all he does is sit at the end of the bed and tell me how great it's going to be!"